So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
