I only kidnapped one of them. chill
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
