At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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