i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
These tits shall not be calmed
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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