So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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