Non-Jews are for practice
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
