he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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