So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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