we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
