he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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