Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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