When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
