he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Less talking, more tequila
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
