we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
