Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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