Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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