just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Never joke about your clitoris.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
