Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
