Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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