That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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