the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
