I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
