Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
