but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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