Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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