tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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