you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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