I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
