I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
