I CAN MOONWALK!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
