I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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