Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
