I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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