i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
