What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
