you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
