if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
