I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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