i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
