she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This baby is an asshole
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
