you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
