What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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