i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
