Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When did angry sex become our thing?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
