Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
