North Korea, Best Korea!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
