what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
And then he peed in my hair
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