we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
