I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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