I have demons in me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
