I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
