in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
