If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
